"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you..."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."