"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."