"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."