"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

"The road to success is always under construction."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"