"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."