"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you..."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."