"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am sayi..."

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."