"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you..."