"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."

"A day without laughter is a day wasted."

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am sayi..."