"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"