"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

"The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."

"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."

"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am sayi..."

"The road to success is always under construction."