"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specif..."

"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."

"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am sayi..."

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquit..."

"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."

"Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow I..."